Starla Elizabeth Banks has settled. Obviously perky, probably sweet, and certainly exciting for her high school students in her tight little skirts, she's also married to the lunkiest guy in town, Grant Grant Michael Rooker. The explanation provided, that Grant is "made of green," that once-poor Starla has settled for a nice house and a decent budget for dresses and shoes, doesn't quite cut it. And so Slither proceeds to demonstrate the total wrongness of Starla's choice. First, she's got a more appropriate option who's been in love with her since they were kids: handsome sheriff Bill Pardy the most excellent Nathan Fillion. And second, Grant's a monster.
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