It even gave me a newfound empathy for the plight of your average heterosexual male, inwardly sighing that his partner might be ready to go at it again already. Then I smugly counted my XY fortune. Back in my days as a professional dominatrix, one of my most popular services was the ruined orgasm: bringing a man — or letting him bring himself — quickly to the point of climax, causing ejaculation without the muscle-spasming respite of a full-bodied orgasmic release. I never had a female client — nor met a woman since — who was into ruined orgasms. Lesbians, though, reportedly have less trouble reaching orgasm than straight or bi women. If I were a conspiracy theorist kind of feminist, I might think that the lesbian death-bed phenomena was a hetero male ruse, employed to distract straight and particularly bi women from finding out that they were getting shafted while getting it on with men.
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Kathy Belge Updated April 10, There are many couples out there who have been together for weeks, months, or years and have trouble giving their partner an orgasm. It can be even more challenging for same-sex couples learning how to give their partner an orgasm for the very first time. Orgasm problems can start with women who never had an orgasm at all, or for those who have had orgasms in the past but can no longer have them now. If you're a lesbian who is having trouble making your partner, or yourself, come during sex, there is hope for you. They love each other very much, but one of them is unable to give the other an orgasm.