Doctors and patient educators at the University of Chicago Program in Integrative Sexual Medicine often talk about masturbation with women. Interestingly, older men and women report less frequent masturbation than younger people and women generally report less frequent masturbation than men. When women present for medical help with orgasm problems, some are interested in learning how to masturbate for the first time, while others are looking for help to address a loss of ability to experience orgasm. When I researched resources for women seeking help with masturbation and orgasm, I aimed to distill it down to one book, one article and one digital app that I think women — and everyone who loves and cares for women — should know.
The best female masturbation positions that aren't like the ones you see in porn
Learn more: Masturbation
I can remember sitting in health class, learning about wet dreams. Now, I appreciate the fact that I was able to learn about sexual development from a young age in a respectful environment. But there is a gap around female sexual arousal and pleasure. Boys are taught that arousal is normal and healthy; girls are not. There was never a moment in health class where female masturbation was acknowledged. There was no validation of the fact that female desire develops throughout puberty. Sex education skips the conversation around female masturbation.
A frank, educational, instructional website about female sexuality? OMGYes!
Porn isn't exactly famed for its realism. Women masturbate with legs splayed and backs arched, orgasming after a few minutes of frantic rubbing and moaning. But in reality, those positions aren't necessarily the most conducive to pleasure for women. What might seem hot in a male fantasy — which informs much of the porn we watch — isn't always close to what actually gets women off. I must admit, it hadn't occurred to me that the way I masturbate might have been influenced by the porn I was privy to growing up.
I went to my trusty source, our aging dictionary no Google back then , and read something that was equally puzzling. What's self-pollution?!? Women were most likely to enjoy the act without guilt or shame if they felt positively about their genitals and if they reported that they masturbate for sexual pleasure and to learn about their bodies. Even better, you could masturbate with your partner. If a woman is uncomfortable masturbating, she may have trouble with partnered sex as well.